Throughout your child’s life, they will be placed in several different social situations. Their first exposure to any of these situations would be when they’re at home, when they interact with you and vice versa. Then, when they get old enough, they’ll start interacting with people outside of their family, such as with their teachers and classmates. Eventually, they’ll be interacting with strangers in different settings.
Along with this, your child will begin to learn more about the existence of other people as well as where they stand in all of that. Things like who they are and who others are are some of the things they learn, as well as how to interact with them. Along with that, they learn something about boundaries.
Boundaries are important in any interaction with another person. They help us know what things we can and can’t do, and also teach us how to respect other people as well as ourselves. That’s why it’s important to teach our children about these boundaries at an early age. That way, they can learn about boundaries and also learn how to navigate any future interactions based on what they know.
Of course, you might think that teaching a toddler about this can be very difficult. However, it’s not. You just need to know how to go about it. This article will help give you some tips on how you can go about teaching your little one about boundaries. That way, they’ll be on their way to figuring out how to act in social situations and learn how to better interact with others.
1. Empathy and Its Importance
One of the first things you should do, which is also the most important step, is to help teach them empathy. This is because the concept of empathy is at the center of learning about boundaries and respecting them. It’s what helps a person know whether they’re essentially breaching one’s boundaries.
You might think that empathy is something that a toddler may not understand right away. After all, empathy might seem more fitting for the vocabulary of an older child. However, the concept behind this is still easy to teach someone as young as a toddler.
Teaching a toddler empathy is as easy as asking them how they think others will feel. At this age, they’ll already be able to understand when they feel happy and sad. Sometimes, your toddler may even communicate it with you. So, when you know they have some idea on what happiness and sadness may feel like, you can then start teaching them more about empathy. You can do this by simply asking them how they think another person may feel.
There are several opportunities where you can ask them this question. For example, if they have a sibling, you can ask them how their sibling might feel if they did something like take a toy away by force. Something as simple as asking, “How do you think they felt when you took away their toy,” may suffice.
Of course, your toddler may not understand this right away. So, you can ask them instead, “How would you feel if I took your toy away from you?” Then, they might start to think about the feelings that may come if that were to happen. This simple thinking exercise helps them begin to understand that others also have feelings. By having them start to put themselves in the shoes of others, they can then learn to understand how their actions affect others. This will take lots of time and lots of practice. However, once this gets started, you’ve at least started them on being more aware of the feelings of those in relation to how they would feel.
2. Establish Rules And Let Them Know
Another important part of teaching them about boundaries is by helping them understand the concept of rules. In a way, boundaries are like rules. With every person, there are things that you can and cannot do. Eventually, they’ll have a general idea of how to approach and handle interactions with droves upon droves of people. However, this all begins by first teaching them about rules.
These rules can be general rules that involve things at home as well as rules when interacting with other people. What’s important is that they know what these rules are. So, much like how you’d teach them about how to be more sensitive about the feelings of others, it’s essential that you communicate these rules to them. From telling them to knock on doors before entering to ensuring they refrain from hitting people, you have to make sure you state these clearly and they understand them. Of course, it may still take some time. But, what matters here is that your child learns early on that there are things that they shouldn’t be doing.
Once they’re more aware of these things, then they’ll at least eventually get the idea that they have to behave a certain way because that’s what’s expected of them. After a while, it’ll come naturally to them. All you need to do is help them get started on building that habit.
3. The Importance of “No”
Aside from knowing what they can and can’t do based on the rules they are taught, another important way to help them learn more about boundaries is to teach them the power of the word “No.” While toddlers may not seem like it, they are very receptive. What’s more, they’re also old enough to understand the concept of the word “No.” So, teaching them its importance is something that is possible.
Teaching them the power of the word “No” will take some effort as it involves a combination of verbal and nonverbal cues. Of course, there’s teaching them the actual word. However, they will also need to know what it means. This is where your body language also comes into play.
When you tell your child “no,” it’s important to ensure that your tone is firm. At the same time, you should also show them that you’re serious. Keep a serious face and let them know that you’re telling them that there’s something you don’t want them to do. Of course, along with this, you should also tell them why you’re saying no to them. Give them a simple enough reason and tell them it’s something that you don’t want them to do. You can help them understand this better by also telling them how you’re feeling and why you don’t want it to happen.
Along with all that, it’s also important to teach them that no means no. So, once you tell them that they can’t, you have to make sure you don’t change your mind. Otherwise, they may realize that the word “no” doesn’t have any bearing and they can still get their way. In terms of teaching them about boundaries, this may just be counterintuitive.
4. Set An Example
Part of teaching your toddler boundaries also involves you showing them that you’re respecting the boundaries of others. While all the points mentioned so far are good ways to teach them about boundaries, if you fail to follow them yourself, then it will mean nothing. So, it’s important that you let them see that you’re doing your part as well. Especially because toddlers are very observant.
So, when you’re interacting with another person, it’s important that you keep in mind the proper way to do so. If you’re talking to another adult, let your child see that you’re doing things like waiting for them to finish talking. Let them hear the tone you’re using, addressing whoever you’re talking to respectfully and calmly. From your facial expressions and body language to the words you use, your child will pick up on all that. So, it’s important to always put your best foot forward. After all, you know boundaries better than they do. So, they’ll look to you, even if you don’t notice it.
Setting an example also entails treating them the way you want them to treat you. A perfect example of this is when they start using “no” on you too. If your child starts saying no to things you do, acknowledge it. You can ask them why and hear them out, acknowledging their feelings, and making them know they’re valid. Then, you can talk to them about it and work with them saying no. In this case, it’s also important to show them that their “no” is important too.
5. Positive Reinforcement
As you go and teach them about empathy, rules, and, ultimately, boundaries, it’s also good to remember to show them that they’re on the right track. When they take some time to stop and think about how someone might feel before they do something or remember a rule you put up, be sure to at least acknowledge that.
By acknowledging these little successes, you’re assuring them of two things. One, you’re letting them know that you see what they’re doing. Two, you’re also showing them that that is behavior you expect of them and are proud of it. When they see that you’re happy that they’re learning more about boundaries and successfully applying what they know, this will encourage them to keep at it.
So, whether it’s a simple, “Thank you,” for respecting your boundaries, a high five for treating their sibling or friend with respect, or telling them you’re proud of them, be sure to let them know. A little positive reinforcement will definitely go a long way. This will also ensure that your child knows they’re doing the right thing and keep at it.
