Every parent could agree that raising a child is not an easy thing to do. Entering the journey of parenthood requires mamas and papas to put in a lot of effort, patience, sacrifice and more. Here in the Philippines, there are different parenting approaches that are highly influenced by culture and tradition which focus on values such as respect, obedience, and strong familial bonds.
Disciplining their child is one of the main goals of a parent. For traditional parents, they have done various forms of discipline to instill moral values to their children. This is where they get to show their firmness or strictness but also their affectionate and supportive side. However, being part of a new generation, some of the practices done in the past have now been taken into a different light – where new generation parents choose not to do such techniques anymore when given the chance to raise their own child. This article will feature a contrast between traditional and modern parenting, highlighting the strategies that are improved by new parents when raising their little ones. From discipline forms to parenting methods, we’ll delve into their distinguished changes between the past and the present approaches.
5 Traditional Child-Rearing Practices: Improved in Modern Times
The modern trends allowed new generation parents to adopt a more flexible approach to parenting. Notable changes in the dynamics of society, culture, and also the resources made available for everyone has affected the parenting styles of mamas and papas. With this being the situation, there are certain methods that parents used to do in the past that their children (the new generation parents) might not do anymore when they enter parenthood. Below are five (5) child-rearing practices to check on:
1. Spanking as Discipline
In the previous generations, spanking was commonly used by parents to discipline their child – mostly when their child was being stubborn. Although it happens a lot of times, this practice is not appropriate when it comes to disciplining or teaching one’s child a lesson. For instance, when a child commits a mistake or did something wrong and is then spanked by his or her parents, the child will most likely learn not to do the same thing again but will never learn why they shouldn’t do it. Vanbuskirk (2022) also stated that spanking indeed stops unwanted behaviors of a child but it does not encourage making decisions and help in developing emotional regulation, self-awareness, and responsibility.
Meanwhile, in modern parenting, mamas and papas can now focus on positive discipline methods and heavily allot time on communication. There are ways to lessen the physical form of discipline and head towards the more educational type of discipline. One way is to establish effective communication between parents and the child. Mamas and papas are to develop patience when it comes to explaining their child’s behavior and why it is wrong. Aside from this, modern parents can create simple yet firm rules for their kids to follow. In this way, the child knows their limits and will be able to become more conscious of their actions.
2. Strict Parenting
Another practice from traditional parenting is embodying the “strict parent” persona. These may have emphasized strict obedience and conformity. Although this helps instill discipline and respect to children, there are still a lot of downsides that will take effect in the long run. Some of the scenarios of strict parenting is when parents have the authority on their child’s actions or crucial decisions. An example is forcing your child to do hobbies that they are not really interested in. Another is not allowing them to explore the world on their own – not giving them the permission to go out with friends even from time to time, telling them to always be at home studying, discouraging them to try commuting around the metro, and more.
On the flip side, modern parents are most likely to encourage independence, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence. This will allow their little ones to discover a lot of things about themselves and their surroundings. Parents will still be there to provide guidance and support but most of the work is done by the child. There are good effects of being independent that will be visible in the long run as they grow older.
3. Educational Pressure
Parents are very vocal when it comes to the education of their child. Most parents, as one may have heard before, always say “my dream is to see you finish your academics” or “I would do anything just for you to finish your studies.” Many mamas and papas in the past intentionally, or not, put educational and even career pressure on their children. During childhood, excessive amounts of pressure with certain punishments may lead to making the child fear failure or not meeting the expectations of parents.
Instead, for modern parents today, they give value on engaging and interacting with their children to discuss their educational journey or their desired career path. If there is someone who would know their current status at school, it would be the child itself. Encouraging a healthy home where their little ones can express their thoughts on school will allow a better relationship between parent and child and lessen the underlying educational pressure.
4. Limited Mental Health and Emotional Intelligence Awareness
Mental health and emotional intelligence have not been prevalent in the early times. It is not a matter that is normally discussed between parents and their children. The value of mental health is huge and modern parents could take the effort to talk about protecting their child’s overall well-being.
Growing up, they may feel a lot of emotions that may be overwhelming to deal with. As a parent, it will be helpful to encourage discussions regarding mental and emotional health and explain that it is not something to be ashamed of. In the future, he or she will be able to manage their feelings better at their own pace. It will also promote empathy and compassion to others as she will be someone who understands what mental health is.
5. Less Emphasis on Dad’s Role
Traditional gender roles have been present in the previous generations. When it comes to parenting, duties are often relegated to mamas. However, in modern times, parenting highlights the shared responsibilities and actively involves papas in childcare.
Children must see that their mama and papa equally help each other when it comes to household duties and also in parenting. This will make them realize that both parents should work hard to keep the family in a good state.
It's important to note that these situations and examples can vary widely based on cultural, geographical, and individual factors. While some practices may change, each generation of parents brings its unique perspectives and approaches to raising children.
Parenting is a dynamic journey and is shaped by different cultural shifts, technological advances, and timeless bond between generations. Despite having practices evolve over time, one thing that remains the same is the love that parents have for their children which makes them provide nothing but the best always.
