There’s a reason they call this chapter the Terrible Twos. Endless crying, whining and wailing, screaming fits, throwing things, hitting people, banging the head, stomping.
Parents of toddlers have, in one way or another, found themselves in a situation where their little one seemed to be trapped in a hurricane of emotions. Sometimes, it just seems impossible to navigate through these nasty episodes.
Here’s the good news, mama: temper tantrums are a normal part of childhood development and they are totally manageable. According to Stanford Children’s Health, “Temper tantrums are a way a young child lets out strong emotions before he or she is able to express them in socially acceptable ways. Temper tantrums often start at about 1 year of age. They continue until age 2 to 3. They start to happen less often as a child becomes more able to communicate his or her wants and needs.”
Here are ways you can keep your cool when your child is in the middle of a meltdown. Remember though that the most effective way varies from child to child, so it’s best to find the best method to tame the tantrum.
1. Keep calm and carry on.
There are times when you find yourself wanting to have a meltdown yourself when your kid is having one. It’s also easy to raise your voice and yell at them. Resist these temptations, mama! A battle of screams will only make the tantrum worse. Repeat after us: staying calm is the best response. Keep the long talk until they have calmed down.
2. Find a distraction.
Have you already heard that a child’s attention span is usually short? Use this to your advantage and distract them with anything that will keep them from thinking about their frustrations: a sweet or savory snack, their favorite plushie, an invitation to join you in the kitchen to bake some desserts. The key is to have something to soothe their raging emotions.
3. Give them space.
If someone advised you to ignore your child when they are throwing a tantrum and you’re on the fence about whether to heed this or not, we’ve got an answer: yes, you can do this, mama! A lot of parents swear by this strategy simply because when your child is in a full-blown screaming fest, there is really nothing you can do but to let them release all these emotions. You can let them stay in a safe, quiet corner in the house to allow them to deal with their own feelings until after they are able to pull themselves together.
4. Allow them to be in control.
There are times when this is the best and only option. If they insist on a specific shirt, let them wear it even if it doesn’t complete the look you are going for. If they want to eat by themselves, give in even if it will be messy. If they opt to color the elephant orange on their book, just smile and say yes. Sometimes, being less restrictive helps lessen their pent-up frustrations.
5. Use the remarkable power of touch.
Even grownups who are down and distraught feel better when they receive a hug. Go for the power of touch and give your upset child a warm and comforting hug to let them know that while you do not like how they are acting, you still care for them and you can be their safe space to vent their emotions. Watch how a hug can do wonders in lightening up the mood.
