A newborn is always cause for celebration. Before you eagerly visit, though, remember that it won’t be like dropping in on a friend. Days-old babies—and their exhausted parents—require special handling. So take note of these rules before you pop in:
1. Visit only if the new parents ask you to.
The period after a birth is hectic and exhausting. Dropping by unannounced will just add to the new parents' stress. Uninvited guests will be an unnecessary load for them. Wait for an invitation; and if you don't receive one, don't be offended. Instead, send them a congratulatory message. There will be time enough for you to visit after the new parents have adjusted to their bundle of joy.
2. Be mindful of germs.
It does happen—newborn babies can get sick from germs passed on to them by ignorant visitors. A newborn’s immune system is still too weak to fight infections. So don’t kiss the baby, wash your hands, and wear clean clothes. Let your visit be your first stop of the day. And remember, if you (or a housemate) feel sick, stay home. You can always do a video call if you really want to check in and see the baby.
3. Ask permission from the parents before posting photos of their baby online.
Privacy has become a precious commodity so much so that several governments now have laws in place to regulate sharing of photos of minors on social media. Let the parents dictate how private or public they want their baby’s first portraits to be.
4. Offer to help with the baby or around the house.
A useful friend is the perfect friend, especially to new parents who haven't slept more than two hours straight in the last three days. When you visit, look for a chore that needs to be done and offer to do it. You can wash dishes, do two loads of laundry, perhaps even sweep the floor and cook a meal. More than presents, the tired parents will appreciate your help cleaning up.
5. Keep your comments to yourself.
Give advice only if it’s asked for. Bottle up questions about parenting method choices, breastfeeding, and the mom’s body issues. These questions and comments have no place with a tired mom who just gave birth and a dad who must be feeling both exhilarated and terrified. They will figure it out without the help of unsolicited advice.
6. Don’t stay too long.
Try not to put your friends in the situation where they have to think of subtle ways to ask you to leave. Stay just long enough to gush over the baby a bit and help out. And then leave. Entertaining you should not become an inconvenience for the new parents.
7. Avoid using perfume or cologne.
These synthetic fragrances may contain irritants that could cause health problems for the baby. Make your visit scent-free. If you're giving presents, make sure these don't contain harmful chemicals.
8. Bring food.
Don’t show up empty-handed. Ready-to-eat food is always a welcome present, especially if new parents have no househelp. If you do decide to bring food, make sure it won't spoil quickly. Try the following: breastfeeding snacks, fruit, cans of soup, power bars, and meals that are easy to reheat.
