So many things become clear only in hindsight, and that includes the wondrous, milestone experience of becoming a mama for the first time.
No matter how many topics you read up on or how much hand-me-down knowledge you get from family and friends, there’s nothing like going through the experience yourself to realize that there will be things that you wish you knew beforehand or truly took to heart.
These were the things I wish I knew before I became a mama. I hope they will be helpful for you.
SLEEP. You’ll get little, probably none.
Everyone makes jokes about new parenthood being akin to becoming a zombie. It’s funny until it actually happens to you.
During the first few weeks, you’ll soldier along only half-awake most of the time, sleepless and barely functioning, because your new baby will demand ‘round-the-clock care and attention.
It’s like a slap on the face when you’re hunched over your baby’s crib at two in the morning, and you realize you’ve been going on two hours of sleep for two months straight. You’d wish you had taken this seriously before the baby arrived and slept in more. For now, what you can do is just hold on to the fact that all babies eventually sleep through the night. Things will get better and you'll be reunited with your bed before you know it.
It’s OK to delegate
Some new moms will feel overprotective of their new baby. This is normal, and that will manifest through wanting to do everything yourself when it comes to taking care of the baby. Even though that is possible, it is not ideal. Remember that it takes a village to raise a child.
If you can, delegate daily chores to other people in your household. Don’t be shy to ask for help for things like cooking meals, doing the laundry (yours and baby’s), buying groceries, and the like, at least for the first month. Learn to trust the help of others. You’ll need it, mama.
You need to be smart about stuff...
… Particularly when it comes to shopping for the baby. These are decisions you can make long before D-Day comes. Whatever your budget, you’ll realize that quality is important when buying gear or items that the baby or you will need. If it feels like an investment, it’s because it is. Buy what you can afford, but don’t be a cheapskate. Big purchases like carriers, strollers, slings and the like need careful consideration.
In my experience, had I gone for the better-quality carrier, it would have had a better chance at survival with my firstborn who turned out to be so rambunctious. Just thinking ahead: you don’t want to have to buy a whole new set of gear for each child you plan to have.
It’s not all about the baby.
The baby being the center of attention is so ‘90s. Not that we don’t love the ‘90s, but listen: it was you who went through those precarious nine months of pregnancy, and it was you who popped that beautiful human out of your body, right? Your baby is amazing and deserves the world, but this moment is also about you. Don’t wait for months to pass before your start taking care of yourself and prioritizing your needs as much as the baby’s. Your baby will be healthier and happier and better cared for if you are healthy and happy yourself.
