Oh teenage love! One day, you see your child getting all kilig while glued to his phone. The next day, your son comes home looking like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
You later find out he really is dealing with a heavy burden: a broken heart. The girl he is crushing on — the center of his universe, the apple of his eyes — turned him down and didn’t reciprocate his feelings.
As the endearing and empathetic mama that you are, of course you feel bad for your boy. But as much as we would want to shield our little ones from pain, we also need to allow them to experience setbacks so they can learn how to get back on their feet again.
Case in point: rejection. Whether it is in love or in our career, we will all have our fair share of rejections in our lifetime so it’s only a must that we help our children deal with these rejections and teach them how to bounce back.
So the next time your son is feeling heartbroken because of unrequited love, here’s what you can do:
1. Validate their feelings.
It truly hurts to be turned down or to be in a one-sided love. The worst thing you can do as a parent is to invalidate your child’s feelings, especially during times when their heart feels like it is shredded into a million pieces. Don’t rub salt into his wound by telling him there’s no reason to be sad or disappointed. Let him feel all those big emotions so he knows how to deal with them the next time he experiences them.
2. Tell him he should be proud of himself.
Not everyone has the confidence to confess their feelings toward another person. Give your boy a proud hug because he was able to muster up all the courage he has to express his emotions. And remind him also to feel so proud of himself. Because he confessed, he no longer needs to worry about the “What if I told her” regretful thoughts.
3. Remind him it’s just a bend, not the end.
Explain to him that he may feel like his world has collapsed now, but things will get better. He can try to shift his perspective and look at this as a chance for him to learn more about himself and the things he likes. Take this time to take on a new sport he can excel in or a new hobby that will keep him happily busy. Doing so will also open up a bigger world for him where he can meet more people and get to know them.
4. Encourage him to never fear rejection.
The fear of rejection is something we all struggle with. But such fear can hold us back and limit us from taking measures to achieve our goals. Remind your child that getting rejected by a girl does not mean he is not good enough. In love specifically, we cannot force ourselves on a person. Isn’t it much better to be turned down than to waste your time on someone who’s not interested in you? Some rejections are actually redirections, redirecting us to a better environment, people, situations.
You’ve got this, mama! Your son is lucky to have you as his mama.
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