There’s nothing more exciting than experiencing first love. It’s young, fun, and filled with all the positive things that make you feel as if nothing could ever go wrong. While some people get lucky the first time around and marry their first love, it’s not always the case. First love, especially when it’s young love, doesn’t always last forever.
Most people remember their first love. It’s such a new experience that makes you feel like you’re on cloud 9. So when it all comes crashing down, it also hurts a whole lot.
We’ve all gone through that: the tears, the sleepless nights, the sad songs on repeat, and the pints of ice cream devoured. There’s nothing like your first heartbreak. If you didn’t, consider yourself lucky!
Fast forward to years later, and it’s now your child navigating through heartbreak. It’s like going through your first heartbreak all over again. How are you supposed to navigate through that, but as a parent this time around?
Mamas, let me share with you a two-word secret that a teenager said helped her move on from her first heartbreak: self-love.
Before falling in-love with another person for the first time, your teenager already knew of love – for family, for passions, for themselves. So, when they’re faced with the difficult situation of losing the one they loved, it’s important to remind them that love still exists in their life.
Remind your teenager that pain is an opportunity to fall in love again, but this time, with themselves again. When in a relationship, people tend to put themselves second. They get so wrapped up in their partner that they forget to focus on themselves.
After a painful heartbreak, it’s the perfect time to pick up the pieces (as cliche as it sounds), and build your life around yourself again. And of course, mama, she can’t do that alone. She will need encouragement from family and friends, and that’s where you come in.
In such a difficult situation that revolves around your teenager, there’s not much we can do as parents. What we can do is:
1. Support them all the way. Give them time, give them company, give them advice (if you know they want it and are willing to listen), and give them the courage they need to be strong.
2. Validate their feelings. We’ve all gone through our first heartbreak. While listening to “first love” stories might make you dismiss it easily knowing there’s much more in store for them in the future, it’s the current reality your child is in. Validate their feelings – tell them it’s okay to feel hurt, sad, and upset, but don’t dwell in them.
3. Check in on them and give them a listening ear. It can get repetitive, especially during the first few days, but the reason why your teenager might be talking about it so much, is because they’re comfortable sharing about her experiences with you. Persistently checking in on them and offering them ways to ease their mind off of the heartbreak are more important than you think.
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that as parents, all we can do is take this as a chance to support our kids. Remind them that they are loved, and that despite the heartbreak, they aren’t truly alone because they have you, the rest of your family, and their friends who are ready to step in whenever they need.
###
