Dear Mama,
You may be reading this during the wee hours, when the house is finally quiet and at long last you have time to rest. Yet, here you are, scrolling through mama pages, skimming through stories of other mamas, perhaps hoping you’d see someone as tired as you.
But all you see are these happy family photos of celebrities, their well-behaved, best-dressed children posing for the camera. Ah, those picture-worthy moments! Then you spot videos of other mamas cooking in their squeaky clean kitchens, baking chocolate chip banana muffins, to be eaten with delight by their adorable, seemingly tantrum-free, independent children.
The dream life. The motherhood everybody dreams of. But that’s what it is mama – a dream.
Because behind those picture-perfect celebrity families, or even those of your friends on your social media feed, is the reality that these were made possible by money spent on planning, of work made by househelp, or a day full of bribing so children would stay still during those pictorials. Or they could be just lucky. You’ll never know, really. Because not everyone won’t post their woes, or how sleepless they were perfecting their baby’s first Christmas.
And you’re brought back to your reality of finding me-time in a dark room, not daring to change your position on the bed so kids won’t wake. Then you remember the laundry downstairs, the gifts yet to wrap, the unfinished Christmas tree, the food orders yet to be placed, groceries yet to buy. And your mind is running like a madman, ticking out an endless list of to-do’s. So, so tired. And you tell yourself not to dare dream about having a postcard-worthy Christmas.
But did you know, mama, that your kids don’t want to remember how tired you are every holiday. They just want you to be there with them, playing hide and seek by the tree, planting kisses and tickles just before dinner. They also want to see you sing a happy tune instead of spewing repeated reminders or reprimands. Connect with your family this Christmas, mama. Return to the imagery of a humble manger where Jesus Christ was born – no lavish decorations, just a family full of love.
It’s okay to have a messy home, especially when the mess is created by children who hold your world. It’s okay to ask for help, from your partner, from your parents. Tap technology to automate other needs. Find time to get yourself a haircut, a nice bath, and a decent meal.
Motherhood is exhausting mama. And we try to always be in our best 365 days of the year. But this holiday season, perhaps it’s also time to let yourself seek that magic of Christmas sans the elaborate preparations – it’s really just spending time with family, making new experiences together, and genuinely loving each other, wacky pictures and all.
Love,
Your equally tired fellow mama
