Last weekend, my best friend and her husband had to attend a wedding outside of the Metro and asked me, the ever-reliable ninang, to babysit the cutest 1-year old baby girl that is their daughter. When I entered their apartment studio, I was greeted by my best friend with a quiet “shhh! 15 more minutes” and in her hand was this tiny machine showing a black and white video of her daughter, all swaddled up, legs stretched, both arms stretched out behind her neck, looking like a starfish on land sleeping soundly as can be. “What’s that?” I asked. To which she replied, “I’ve been sleep-training her for months now. Thank God I did!” Then she goes on to talk about her journey and how her other friend also tried it but is having trouble because of their constant travels, and so on and so forth. The conversation about sleep went on for about an hour until she finally had to leave.
If you're anything like me, you might have heard the term "sleep training" pop up in conversations here and there but never really understood what it meant. After that talk with my best friend, I dove deep into the internet, asked my other mama friends, and consulted different pedia experts on the topic of sleep training. I have learned so much about it and in this article, I plan to address the commonly asked questions about sleep training and debunk whatever myths we have grown to believe about it. Read on if you are planning to start your incredible journey of sleep training or if you’re already in it, yet having a hard time sustaining it.
What is sleep training?
Sleep training— also called sleep teaching or sleep learning—is the process of helping your infant learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own. The goal of sleep training is to help babies develop healthy sleep habits and patterns, which can lead to better sleep for both the baby and the parents. Other benefits include increased independence, better daytime behavior, and overall better health for both caregiver and child. A research study from the National Institutes of Health suggested that critical brain-development periods are dependent on adequate sleep. “Sleep training babies may not be fun, but I always tell families that it’s not dangerous, and developing good sleep hygiene is, in my opinion, one of the best things you can do for your child,” TJ Gold, M.D., New York pediatrician says. However, it is important to note that all babies are different and what works for one baby may not work for another. At the end of the day, the best sleep training technique is the one that fits best with your family’s lifestyle.
When is the right time to start sleep training?
The right time to consider sleep training for your baby can vary, but generally, it's best to wait until your baby is at least 4-6 months old, as this is when they have developed the ability to sleep through the night. Additionally, it is important to wait until your baby is developmentally ready, which can be indicated by signs such as your baby being able to self-soothe, being able to fall asleep without being rocked or fed to sleep, and showing an interest in longer stretches of sleep.
It's best to consult with your pediatrician before starting sleep training, as they may have recommendations based on your child's specific needs. For instance, if your child is not gaining weight as quickly or was born prematurely, they may require a sleep training plan that accommodates middle-of-the-night feedings.
How to sleep train?
There are several sleep training techniques that have been proven to be effective in helping babies learn to sleep through the night. Some of the most popular methods include
1. Cry-it-out (CIO) method: This technique involves putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake and allowing them to cry for a certain period of time before going in to comfort them. The intervals of time between checks are gradually increased until the baby is able to fall asleep on their own. The idea of this method is that the baby has the natural capacity to learn to self-soothe. Although this technique is known to be the fastest to see results, it is also the hardest to commit to.
2. The "no cry" sleep method: This method revolves around establishing a consistent bedtime routine and using soothing techniques such as rocking and singing to help your baby fall asleep. Unlike the CIO, this method teaches the child to fall asleep with the primary caregiver’s help with gradual weaning. Results are typically expected within 4-12 weeks.
3. Ferber method: Also known as timed-interval sleep training, modified sleep training, or graduated extinction sleep training, this method is when the caregiver places their baby to sleep even if they are crying, and then returns to check on them at increasing intervals of time such as 5, 10, and 15 minutes. It’s recommended not to pick up the baby during these checks but the caregiver may still verbally comfort or pat them. Over time, the intervals between these checks will increase until the baby is sleeping through the night. Results are to be expected within a week.
4. Camping out method: Also known as the fade-out technique, this sleep training technique involves gradually reducing the amount of your involvement in your child’s bedtime routine. This method is a good fit for parents who are not comfortable with prolonged crying, although it is important to recognize that, for some children, there is no such thing as a “no-cry” solution. The downside is that camping out takes longer than C.I.O.
Tips for Sleep Training a Baby
Here are some tips to ensure the success of your chosen sleep-training approach, whether it's a combination of methods or none at all:
1. Know there will be bad days
As with any other aspects of parenting, sleep training a baby inevitably comes with regressions and bad days. It’s important that you learn to accept that there are many outside factors that can lead to poor sleep, like teething, illness, vacation and routine shifts to name a few. Vanessa Vance, sleep training consultant from Texas says, “Often, you may have to go back to training for a day or two to get back on track, but you won’t lose ground. If your child has been trained to be a good sleeper, one week off schedule because of vacation won’t change that.” If you regress due to illness or travel, get back on the training wagon as soon as possible. Otherwise you risk sabotaging the weeks of hard work you've already put in.
2. Establish a consistent bedtime routine
The common mistake parents make in sleep training is being inconsistent. Regardless of what technique you choose to implement, make sure you are following a regular schedule and routine to begin with. Start by putting them in bed early (ideally 6 or 7 p.m.). Make sure they’ve been awake for an appropriate amount of time before bed. When they’re well-fed, bathed, and comfortable enough, incorporate your soothing techniques like reading them a book, singing lullabies, and patting their back. Remember, consistency in sleep training can make it easier for you to predict and manage your baby's sleep patterns, which can reduce stress and improve overall well-being for the family.
3. Help your baby learn about night and day
Basically, this means exposing your baby to light and more daytime activities like walking and visiting the park during the day and keeping the night calm and quiet.
4. Make your environment conducive for sleeping
Environment matters, especially when it comes to sleep training your baby. To make a room conducive for sleep training babies, you can follow these tips:
a. Keep the room dark: Use blackout curtains or shades to block out any outside light, as well as nightlights or other sources of light in the room.
b. Keep the room cool: The ideal room temperature for sleep is around 65-70 degrees Fahrenheit.
c. Use a white noise machine: A white noise machine can help to mask any outside sounds that might disturb the baby's sleep.
d. Remove distractions: Make sure that the room is free of toys and other distractions that might keep the baby awake.
e. Prep the right pillows and mattress: An ideal pillow and mattress for baby sleep training should be firm, flat and safe. Avoid soft pillows and loose blankets to avoid suffocation.
5. It’s okay to not be ready
It is completely normal and understandable to not be ready for sleep training. There are no set rules, so don’t be hard on yourself if sleep training is not really your thing, mama! Sleep training can be a difficult and emotional process for both parents and babies. It's important to remember that every baby and family is different, and what works for one may not work for another.
Having trouble? Consult with a sleep training consultant in your area.
Consulting a sleep training consultant can be helpful if you are having difficulty sleep training your baby because they can provide personalized advice and guidance based on your specific situation; and help you identify any underlying issues that may be contributing to your baby’s sleep problems. They can also help you develop a sleep training plan that is tailored to your child's needs and your parenting style. Additionally, a sleep training consultant can provide emotional support and encouragement throughout the process, which can be especially helpful if you are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated.
Want to share your own sleep training journey? Join us at edamama Connect! Whether you need advice from other mamas, get tips from experts, want to share your milestones and memories, or simply need a safe space to connect with fellow mamas, the edamama Connect feature has it all for you.
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