The teenage years are undoubtedly the most difficult and challenging times in anyone’s life. After all, it’s the time when we all go through physical changes, the time when you begin expressing your own thoughts and feelings more, and the time when you begin becoming attracted to other people.
Now, whether our parents were strict or a little laxer, we’ve all been in that situation where we’ve had to tell our parents about our desire to date someone or ask them if we’re even allowed to go out on a date. This is undeniably the moment that terrifies or unsettles most teens since it’s that stage where one tries to ask for more freedom while trying to show a semblance of maturity.
However, while it may be difficult for any teen to ask for permission, it’s also equally difficult for any parent as this is a challenging decision to make as parents might be affected by cultural customs, religious convictions, or just family values. It’s easy to say how we can avoid being strict on our children but, when the teenage years come along, any parent will find that it’s easier said than done sometimes.
Now, whether you allow your children to date, at what age, and how you define dating all rely on several factors. Some parents believe that children shouldn't be allowed to date until a certain age. While some parents consider their children's maturity and the definition of a "date," others ask that children only be permitted to go on dates if they have complied with particular conditions or safety standards. So what should you do if your teen asks if they can go on a date this Valentine’s Day? Here are some factors and questions you can consider to help you decide, mamas!
How Old Are They?
Kids all develop differently, and this applies to how their interests in things, activities, and people. Some teens begin to develop “crushes” by the time they’re anywhere between 11-13 (so between the pre-teen to the start of the teen period), while others develop that later on in life.
Though typically, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), girls begin expressing more interest in dating and begin developing an attraction to others by the time they’re 12 while boys don’t develop this until they’re 13. It’s also around this time when they express their interest to go on dates but, usually, this doesn’t mean what most parents think! It’s usually the time when they begin going on more group dates with friends and whoever they like.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether or not your kids can go. After all, every kid’s maturity is different so, as a parent, you should explain to them what “dating” is and how dates can go. Talk about the limits and rules, and if this is something you can have a good conversation about and you feel comfortable about how they understand this, then this should prove that it is safe for your teens to go out on a date.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time for your young teens to go on a date since there are a lot of activities that they can do in groups and there are some that are age appropriate as well so you can rest easy knowing that they’ll be doing something that’s good or alright for them to do.
Who Will Be There?
One of the biggest factors or questions all parents ultimately ask is who the kids will be with. In most scenarios, it will be someone from their circle of friends, someone from school, or someone you already know! This question can quell a lot of uneasiness or tension that you may have about your teenager dating, especially since this allows you to know more about the person your teen wants to go out with and make sure that your kids will be okay being with them too.
Where Will It Be & What Will They Do?
Knowing details such as where your child is going to be and what activity they’ll be doing can definitely be a helpful factor when it comes to allowing your child to go on that Valentine's date. It’s understandable that you feel uneasy if you know that they’re going to be at some party where alcoholic drinks may be served. Alternatively, it’s also understandable how you would be more comfortable with them going to theme parks like Enchanted Kingdom or to the movies in a nearby mall.
Regardless of the activity, it’s best you know where they plan to go so you can at least head to them in case of an emergency. They may be asking for more freedom, especially on Valentine’s Day, and it may be hard to give at first, especially if you haven’t been to the place they want to go to. But that’s why you should have a conversation with them about this. Express your concerns or points if you’re uneasy about the activities they will do, but also learn to give them suggestions so they know what they can also do in the event that you don’t allow them to do what they had originally planned.
Parenting is definitely a challenging task, especially when the teen years roll around. It’s extra tough on parents as you’re the one who made the commitment to support your child through a variety of challenging and complex life stages. You start off by changing their diapers, then teach them how to tie their shoes, and finally, you teach them about courting and falling in love.
Both you and your kids will find the teen years difficult to navigate but equally fun at times too. You may anticipate dealing with your fair share of confrontations while the hormones fly. When this starts to happen, you have to then get ready to handle all the potential inquiries and problems your teens may have when it comes to dating. Sit them down and talk it out so that you can hear their concerns while they can learn a thing or two from someone who’s already been through what they’re going through. It may be a little tough at first but it will undoubtedly get easier as you go along. So, if you think your teen is ready to go on a date this Valentine’s Day, let them know! You know your child best, mama, so it is ultimately your choice whether or not you let them go on that much-awaited date.
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