Love is possibly one of the simplest and most wonderful experiences to have. But, it’s also undeniably one of the most complex things to feel or express as well. That’s because there are different aspects that affect the way we love, affect the way we choose who to love, and affect the ways we see love in general. It can sometimes be simple enough to understand while, at times, being something that’s more complicated than we’d like.
Now, love is something that’s difficult enough to understand for us adults. So being able to explain this concept or idea to kids is understandably challenging at times, especially when they begin questions we don’t have the answer to. Though oftentimes, kids have this amazing ability to comprehend these profound topics and also be able to explain them to us in the simplest and most meaningful ways.
The act of loving can come in countless forms and actions, several words and expressions, and sometimes, a combination of both. As a parent, it’s your job to help your little ones understand all the difficult and tricky subjects so that they can grow up being able to be comfortable making their own decisions (and making better-informed decisions for themselves). If you don’t know where to start, don’t worry! In this article, we talk about how to explain love to your kids, the different kinds or forms of love, and how love differs from infatuation. Read on to find out more.
Explaining Love
We’ve all been in love and experienced love at least one in our lives. While explaining all that isn’t really a topic any parent gets excited for, we can’t deny that helping them understand love and all its forms is quite important.
Now, as love can be complex, it can come in many forms - through actions and gestures, expressions and words, or through both. This Valentine’s Day, the day of hearts, you may want to begin explaining love to your kids to see where they stand on love or see what they understand about it.
You might be surprised at what they say! Some kids will say it’s when they see their parents show affection for one another, other kids will say it’s when their parents or “yayas” (nannies) tuck them in bed at night, and some other children might say that love is when they get gifts from loved ones while hearing how much they’re loved.
Love can come from family, friends, one’s faith, and even our furbabies! As a mama, you know how you (and your partner) express your love for your children, even if they don’t see it sometimes. You also get to see how they express their love back and it may be important to point these out and explain these as expressions of love.
It may be tricky to explain every aspect of love or the ways in which you all are able to express it, but it will be helpful in the long run as this helps your little ones understand how meaningful certain gestures, words, and actions may be. It also teaches them to be more aware and understanding of love languages, others’ needs, and how to best express their emotions. Begin by asking them what they know about love, asking them about the things that make them feel loved, and asking them to explain how they show their love. Each one of us is different and getting to know this about your kids may help you explain love better to them.
Alternatively, another great way to help your little ones have a better understanding of love is by getting to know the different types of love.
Kinds of Love
Familial Love (Storge)
Kids are predisposed to express love from the moment they’re born, and that’s all thanks to it being ingrained in our DNA.
The love that a kid has for their parents, grandparents, and other caregivers, as well as the love that a parent or other caregiver has for the child, is one of the most significant forms of love. This kind of familial love is called “Storge” and it’s the kind of love that’s proven to be essential for a child's (proper) development.
This kind of love can be shown through the hugs and kisses we give to our little ones, the way we help them with their homework, the times we spend with them, the meals we share with them, and other actions and words that express how much you care for them.
Love for Humanity (Agape)
Another kind of love we can all expect to experience is our love for humanity, or “Agape”.
This kind of love, which we have for one another, is also known as God's love for all people. It motivates us to give to the church, donate some time and money to strangers in need, or even volunteer our time to help out.
When it comes to this kind of love, it’s the kind where one willingly gives up their time, rest, effort, and resources in order to help someone else who needs it. This can come in the form of charity where you get to help strangers in need, or by simply helping a close friend.
It can also be seen by saying hello or saying kind words to strangers you pass by on the street or by giving strangers a form of kindness, like when you say please and thank you to others, and other similar gestures.
Love Between Friends (Philia)
Another kind of love we can experience is the love between friends, otherwise known as “Philia”. This kind of love inspires us to go above and beyond for our friends, making them feel like family.
Our little ones can commonly experience this kind of love in the relationships they form with their friends, in the amazing people who support them (such as teachers, tutors, and other peers), and even in the camaraderie that exists among coworkers. Often, we can express this by spending time with friends, giving or making them treats and other gifts, going on trips with friends, and other activities that solidify the bond between friends.
Self-Love (Philautia)
Learning to love ourselves can sometimes be difficult, but it’s also a form of love we can express and experience. This type of love, which should not be mistaken with egotism or narcissism, entails accepting oneself for who you are, both for your incredible strengths and good traits, as well as all the interesting aspects of yourself that you don’t necessarily like or are happy with.
By taking the time to love and care for yourself, you can discover the strength to love and care for others. With your acceptance of yourself, you learn to be kinder, more understanding, and more nurturing to yourself and to others. Whether it’s by giving themselves a little quiet time each daw, or by partaking in their interests and hobbies, this is one kind of love that kids definitely should get to experience.
Love Vs. Infatuation
Now that we’ve established what love can be and the forms it can come in, we need to establish what it is not. As a mama, it’s normal to worry about your child and their likes or infatuations. It’s important to help them understand that infatuation isn’t love but in fact just a fascination or obsession with someone. Little children will undoubtedly not need this kind of talk until their teenage years but, if you already have a teen who’s beginning to like other people, it’s important to note that, while you may want to teach your kids about this, your teens will see the world from a different viewpoint than you and that this is normal. It frequently turns into the cause of disputes between parents and the teen, especially when all you want to do is prevent them from heartbreak while they consistently (and persistently) confuse the feeling of fleeting likes with true love.
Mamas, it’s important to note that teens easily get attached to someone very quickly, especially when they have someone who’s nice to them, someone they find attractive, or they have someone who’s giving them attention and treating them in a special way. It’s easy to fall for this and it’s easy to mistake this for true love. Can you blame them? After all, they’re growing up and experiencing a kind of love that’s different from what they’re used to.
This is something we’ve all been through and now, as a mama, it’s your job to teach them the difference between true love and infatuation. Love is about giving someone the care and support they need, even if it takes time. True love is persistent while infatuation is temporary and typically fades out after a while. Real love can be found in the actions and words of close friends and family members, and it isn’t just about one person all the time. True love comes from people who are our pillars in life and people we can truly lean on or be our utmost truest selves with, while infatuations are mere crushes.
However, it’s worth noting that infatuation can sometimes turn into love, but it’s not the deep love that we settle with and, in time, it’s something we may deem unnecessary. If your kids can understand the basic differences of this, they may better navigate the pain and heartbreak that may happen once they start falling for someone.
True love has been a subject of discussion for millennia. While cynics frequently deny its existence, hopeless romantics believe that everyone should search for their soul mate. Modeling the truths of love for your children is one of the best ways to impart them. Girls learn a lot about love from the way their fathers treat them, in addition to learning from their parents' example. Being kind and kind to her is one of the nicest things a parent can do. Your spouse can achieve this in a variety of ways, including talking to her and truly listening to what she has to say, taking her on special father-daughter dates, and writing her sweet letters that respect her femininity and express how valuable she is. The options are endless, mamas!
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