Entering school means venturing into a new world where children can test their autonomy and control their emotions. This can be challenging at times. Here’s what you parents need to know about raising a child with emotional intelligence.
First, why is emotional intelligence important?
Emotional intelligence, which many experts define as the ability to understand and recognize your emotions and the emotions of others, is crucial in the child’s growth and development.
Emotional intelligence helps children manage their emotions in ways that motivate them to fulfill their goals. Similarly, EI helps in having positive social interactions. Building emotional intelligence as early as school-age helps shape your child’s academic, personal, and professional success.
Tips for raising a child with emotional intelligence
Here are some recommendations to encourage emotional intelligence in your grade-schooler:
Boost your kid’s emotional expression
One of the most critical things in making sure that your little one is growing up with emotional intelligence is to help them communicate their emotions to the people around them.
Grade-schoolers may find it challenging to reflect upon themselves; but they can better understand their emotions if they express their feelings.
When you see non-verbal cues of distress in your child, urge them to label their emotions. For instance, slouching and knitted eyebrows may mean something is weighing heavily in their mind. Tell them that if they express what they feel, you might be able to help them “fix” the situation.
Validate your child’s feelings
Raising a child with emotional intelligence requires that you validate their feelings, which means you’ll show and tell them that you understand how they feel.
Showing understanding encourages kids to talk to you rather than express their emotions through actions like slamming the door or pounding on the table. Once again, when they talk, they learn more about how they feel, and you can help them problem-solve.
Set limits, but avoid instilling fear
Setting limits boosts your child’s understanding that actions have consequences. However, instilling fear due to heavy punishments may discourage them from expressing their emotions.
For instance, a child who fears that he will receive punishment for low test scores may keep their grades from their parents. This hinders communication and disables both parents and child from discovering what led to the low scores.
The key here is to get your child’s side first. From there, you can decide if they need disciplinary action or require help.
Help them solve problems on their own
If you’ll notice, one of the goals of encouraging your child to express their emotions is to walk them through the solution to their problem.
This is because you will not always be there to help them, especially since they spend most of their time in school. Walking them through problem-solving prepares them for when an issue occurs, and you’re not there to set things in the right direction.
Whenever your child comes to you with a problem, ask them for several solutions. Guide them on the pros and cons and then allow them to choose the best way out.
Keep in touch with your child’s teachers
As mentioned earlier, school-age children spend more time in school. Besides talking to them directly, the only other way to know how they deal with their emotions is to talk to their teachers.
Attend parent-teacher conferences and ask questions relevant to your child’s emotional state. How do they handle “fights” with peers? What’s their behavior when they are sad, angry, or frustrated?
Inform the teacher that they can contact you if there’s any concern with your child’s health.
Reminders
Raising a child with emotional intelligence is not an overnight goal; it is an on-going process. The key is to keep your communication lines open with your child so that you can help them understand their feelings better. By doing this, you’re also helping them understand the emotions of the people around them.
