A sibling is a child’s first playmate and the bond they make with a brother or sister is probably one of the strongest ones they will have in their life. They will share almost everything during their growing-up years: bedroom, toys, clothes, parents’ attention, and more.
So it’s important for us parents to establish a positive relationship among siblings and teach them that despite their differences, they are each other’s best friend and biggest cheerleader in life. They need to be reminded that the love and respect between and among siblings is unlike any other in the world — it’s a different kind of special.
While conflicts and squabbles are not something that can be totally avoided among siblings, you can still save yourself from heartaches and headaches by ensuring your children have good loving relationships all throughout their life. Here are ways you can help them foster that extraordinary sibling bond:
1. Let them spend more time together.
Spending time with someone gives you plenty of opportunities to get to know that person — their likes and dislikes, things they love and hate. Time spent can also strengthen the bond of brothers and sisters. Find activities the siblings can do together, such as family vacations, enrolling in sports together, or doing chores together. Why do you think siblings who share a room grow up to be super close?
2. Never compare siblings.
As mamas, our words and opinions matter so much to our kids. We don’t want them to lose their self-esteem when we constantly compare them with their “more beautiful” or “smarter” sibling. Keep in mind that children grow and develop at different rates, and more importantly, every child is unique so let them shine at their own pace.
3. There is no excuse for fighting.
Sibling squabbles are part and parcel of brotherhood or sisterhood. But no matter how angry they both are at each other, fighting should never be tolerated. Make it a rule in your house that screaming, hurling hurtful words, and physical violence is a no-no. Instead, train them to work out a solution peacefully. This way, they learn a thing or two about basic conflict management (which they can use in future relationships outside the family).
4. Train them to give sincere apologies.
Apologizing can be one of the most difficult things to do. Too many adult relationships are irreparable because no one wants to say sorry. As early as now, let’s teach our kids that apologizing with a genuine heart can open the door for healing and even mend broken relationships. There is no shame in being the first to say sorry, and doing it sincerely means you value the relationship more than your ego.
5. Teach them the importance of sharing and respect.
Siblings will be sharing a lot of things as they grow together in one house (even one room for some). This will be their first lesson on sharing, as they need to do this when they go out in the bigger world, where they need to take turns or share a space with others. However, they also need to be taught that sharing also comes with boundaries — they need to respect each other’s personal space, privacy, and property. And differences, too!
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