Valentine’s Day is a good day to express how we feel – not just for our spouses, but for our parents, children, family, and friends. And while most mamas would appreciate a bouquet and some chocolates (yes, we love joining the bandwagon sometimes), acts of love and long-term tools are better gifts. Clueless papas, read on.
A time to recharge
Mamas usually say they’re okay, they’re fine and end up yelling at the kids due to utmost exhaustion. Then comes mama guilt which pushes them into more mama guilt (am I doing this right? Have I clipped my child’s wings) and off they go to an endless self-flagellation.
Before mamas even ask, set a time for her to really go out of the house, meet with a friend, and have everything arranged beforehand. Because, seriously, caregiver mamas need to be looked after too. Reserve a restaurant for her and her friends, anticipate clingy kids (go find them a toy to play with while mama is away), or drive her to have a me-time at the mall with some shopping money while you chase kids in Kidzoona.
You can keep this tradition beyond Valentine’s Day and give mama a time off, even an hour or 2, every week. This will benefit the whole family in the long run, because mama will be healthier and happier.
More help at home
Mamas take pride in being supermoms – doing household chores, attending to kids, being the ideal wife. But the reality is it’s not sustainable. Before anyone in the family feels like a burden, give everyone a task at home and help out mama.
Young kids can learn the discipline of folding their blankets in the morning, or the simple task of putting their snack cups ready for washing instead of leaving it on the table. Papas can be better partners by keeping parts of the house clutter-free (please, put that pair of socks INSIDE the hamper).
While we’re at it, go invest in appliances that will lessen mama’s to-do’s in maintaining a clean home, like this robot vacuum cleaner or a dishwasher.
You can also share the load by taking her car for a wash, or help fold the laundry. Be a more present parent, so mama is not the default absorber of the kids’ whining and the tantrums. And yes, don’t let her cook on Valentine’s Day (unless of course, she insists). Plan ahead and book party plates or food deliveries to avoid holiday rush.
A full pantry and other household needs
Well, this one’s kind of materialistic but it’s practical. Learn how to maintain the pantry and list all other household needs. Make a Google doc of what’s available, what needs to be replenished, instead of asking mama to buy this and that for her next grocery run. This will lighten mama’s mental load, and make papas more involved in homemaking.
You can also have essentials delivered to you on schedule, decreasing the need to repeat the taxing job of keeping track of your household essentials.
You can do that with the Subscribe and Save, which means you can have diapers, baby detergents, and other baby care needs delivered every month, with free shipping and at a discounted price!
Don’t worry about being forgetful about your purchases: you’ll also get notified 3 days before each succeeding order is placed so you can choose to add/subtract items, swap payment methods, change schedules, or even skip an order without any hidden fees.
Great health
Mamas usually look after themselves last. Stop this unnecessary sacrifice and let mama take steps to better health. Mama could start with some simple yoga at home (get her a durable mat), or enroll her in a fitness class.
Enhance her mental health with doing something new or something she can do for herself, like painting classes or a public speaking workshop.
These are just some ideas but you get the picture. Above all, you can also ask mama for a specific gift she’s been wanting to have, plus make a surprise present so she would feel that you really prepared for this once-a-year- love flex day.
Mamas, if you agree, share this on your wall and tag the hubby, and hope they get a hint. Happy hearts day in advance!
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