To cap off the edamama 2022 Expo, mom of two, Andi Manzano, was invited to share her experiences with motherhood and why confidence is key in the motherhood journey. She recounts her experiences with her own children, the advice she was given, and all the thoughts and emotions she felt in the process of gaining that confidence.
Host Cerah Hernandez agreed with Andi, having been through the motherhood journey herself. She noted that while it was difficult at the start, “confidence is important; it’s vital when it comes to raising happy little children.”
As a parent, your children are your priority, and they trust you to give them the love and attention they need. That’s why parents need to be confident when it comes to raising their kids. Now, it may sound easy, but as any parent would know, this is an absolutely tall order and one that’s surely easier said than done.
Read on to dive deeper into the struggles, questions, and challenges of the parenting journey with Andi and Cerah.
What Should I expect Before, During, And After Expecting
Entering the world of motherhood is a new chapter in life that’s fulfilling but definitely it’s a mix of different emotions. Just like pregnancy, motherhood can make anyone nervous or fearful of unexpected challenges and difficulties. That’s why it’s helpful to ask others for their take on parenthood. You can ask your parents, siblings who have children, mommy support groups and whoever else.
However, Andi shares, “when people overshare, it can make you nervous”. By asking a lot of people for advice and help, you also become quite confused and overloaded with information that sometimes becomes a little more frightening than it is helpful. What’s more, this happens at the start of pregnancy and then again when the baby arrives. Except during that period of motherhood, it’s a whole new set of emotions that may be equally terrifying and intense.
The Seasons of Motherhood
For new moms, the first few steps can get confusing or “blurry,” as Andi puts it, since you’re both excited and scared, understandably so. She also mentioned that motherhood has “seasons” that each pose different challenges and hurdles. The first season is the period in time when you find out you’re pregnant.
The next step or season is having your child undergo a new set of challenges such as breastfeeding, putting them to sleep and sleep training them, giving them baths, and finding out how much more difficult it is to bathe a little one since they’re so fragile.
Along with this is the worry of using the right products, the overthinking when it comes to their overall health and nutrition, what else can be done to make sure the children are comfortable and safe, and the sleepless nights you go through to make sure they’re all right.
Then you enter the next season where your children become toddlers and, later on, bigger children who can think and act for themselves. When that happens, you begin to wonder how to discipline them properly, trust they know right from wrong, and figure out how to prepare them for the world. This is the stage or season of motherhood where you tend to second guess yourself and wonder if you have done enough to prepare your child to face the different trials and experiences life has in store for them.
Step By Step
It’s essential to have a support system, but there are times when you have to trust in the experts and rely on them more than Google or personal opinions. It’s important to consult professionals who can guide you and give you a step-by-step guide on how to go about things.
But with other things, it’s undeniably useful to have a helping hand while going through the different seasons of motherhood. Whether it’s your partner taking over watching the baby or friends telling you you look good even if you don’t feel like it, or other people who can help you figure out the best ways to help your child eat and sleep, you need people to help steer you towards better ways and techniques.
After seeing all that and surviving the challenges, Andi mentions that you tend to “look back and say ‘that wasn’t so bad.’”It wasn’t easy, but only after all of it will you see that you lived through it, you learned from it, and it may have even turned out better than you originally thought. You begin to see, step by step, that you do have what it takes to be a good mom and that you are capable of being able to give and do even more. It gives you the confidence you need as a parent.
Having it All
Everyone tries to have it all - balancing working and home life is challenging as it is, but motherhood kicks the difficulty up a notch. However, Andi does mention that it is possible to have it all. However, that does come in time, not in a single day.
Part of the reason why parents can have it all is knowing how to properly and effectively discipline kids. They need to know key lessons early on because this helps shape who they are as people and helps you trust that they will be ready to face anything life throws at them.
Now, while parenting is a “learn as you go” process, parents do also have to remember that children learn as much from your words as they do from your actions, so a part of disciplining children means making sure that you yourself are disciplined as well.
This means knowing how to show your children how to forgive, how to learn from mistakes, and also learning how to do so yourself.
So, whether it’s learning how to follow schedules or how to teach your kids good habits, teaching your children the dos and don’ts of life has a learning curve that you as a parent have to figure out as you go along. It may not always be easy, but it sure is worth the effort. Little by little, it gives the confidence you need to be a good parent and a better person for them to learn from.
